So something happened tonight that is hard to put into words...especially when your blogs are usually about thought you are having randomly. I don't really like sharing emotions through an electronic setting. It just feels so distant, but tonight is clearly going to have to be a lesson to learn in my corner. What do you do when someone you respect very much, is actually doesn't really respect you?
I work in a place where art is of a main concern, and I deal with an art form, that although is more my second favorite form of theater, is one that I'm good at, and is actually the more popular art form. I also have a degree in public relations, so I know how to get people into the seats. But it hurts your heart when you find out that others may not like that you get that much attention. See this all sounds so high school as I am typing it, which is making me think that this is all so high school. So why bother to keep going? So I won't...
But I will talk about jealousy. What a stupid thing to feel most of the times (I'm a firm believer that all emotions have their place in this world.) But most of the time jealousy is just a stupid emotion to feel, because it doesn't lead anywhere. All jealousy does is leads to anger, and the type of anger that isn't a motivating kind.
I have never been the type of person to share my feelings freely. In fact, at first glance people may think of me as just someone who is a bit scary. When they get to know me they find a lot of hidden layers, but I have to say that I'm quite a sentimental person. I respect people so much for what they can do that I cannot, and I'm not the jealous kind. (Oh, my faults come in very different colored packages though....I'm no angel!) However, I don't understand jealousy. I have felt it before, of course, but I discovered really early that it doesn't lead anywhere. You just end up staying in the same place.
Anger can be such a strong motivating force and breeding ground for creativity, but the form of anger that is attached to jealousy is so stagnant. I can't afford myself that time to stay there. Proudly I am 31, but 32 is coming right around the corner (NOT 30!!!!) so I can't be bothered to stay in one emotional state for such a long period of time.
Isn't staying still how generation gaps happen? One generation gets jealous of another generation so they just stay still until the "younger" generation long surpasses them, and then the "older" generation has to catch up. I deal with teenagers all the time, if you look (and you don't have to look too closely) you can actually see the worlds tearing apart at the seams. It is sad.
I had a grandmother who may have passed away at 88, but she was not 88 at all. She knew what she was. There is a great quote I heard on a blog I read of a great friend of mine and she said, in order to be positive you have to accept the reality. The reality my grandmother understood is that she was not 22 anymore, or 33, or 44, or 55, or 66, or 77....she was 88. She understood that and than accepted that fact. Then she proceeded to act like "the young" were supposed to. She was loved by all ages. She never got jealous of people, she was happy for everyone who succeeded, or felt like they succeeded. She was amazing, remarkable and special, and maybe i should take out a chapter of her book.
Jealousy is for the birds...who has the time. Jealousy makes us stand still, and time isn't waiting around for the jealous to catch up....moving on.
Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Emotional Food Groups Pt. 1
I have a theory about emotions. I believe that all emotions that we can feel fall under four major categories: Happiness, Sadness, Fear, and Anger. Every other feeling live under varying degrees of these four. For example, jealousy (anger), depression (sadness), paranoia (fear), etc. However with all the emotions in the world I think that there is only one that doesn't belong to any one category: Love.
Though some emotions may cross lines with one of the four emotions above (I.E. Greed: fear and happiness or jealousy: fear and anger), no single emotion is able to cross all four categories such as love. Love is all of those things, sometimes at once. (But we'll save that for another blog)
Imagine this: happiness, sadness, fear and anger are the four food groups. You need every single one of those in your life in order to challenge, develop, or even relax yourself.
Just like the food groups, you cannot be truly healthy by seperating them. For example, how can you truly know how thrilling that soccor game win is if you have never lost those four in a row? How can you know how beautiful life can really be, until you have touched the edge of death? How thrilling can that lottery win be, if you have never had a single day of struggle?
Just like the four food groups, if you have too much of one food, then you are not giving your body the nutrients it needs in order to sustain a healthy daily life. Have you ever notice how annoyed we get when we are around a person who feels only one of those emotions all the time? It grates our nerves. Think about people you know who are alwasys sad, always angry, always scared, or always happy even (sometimes they seem to be the most frustrating.)
However, on the opposite side of the token if we don't have enough of one emotion it can be detremental to our well being. Think about those people who hold in that anger (I tend to be this person) and they never let it out until something very small and tiny has happened and then it is turns into World War III? Holding that anger inside of you and not letting it out in small ammounts creates this well of anger that we usually let out in one inappropriate gesture.
What about holding in sadness? If we hang on to sadness we tend to cover it up with happiness. But then that moment comes when the straw breaks the camels back (and usually it is something tiny) and we just let it all out in one fell swoop, and it takes us by storm, and we delve into a depression.
I think it's funny that of these four emotions sadness and anger are similar, and happiness and fear tend to be similar.
Why is that? Well, happiness and fear are emotions where if we live in them there is no way to grow. We don't become more complex or more intelligent people when we are feeling happy, if we are not careful we can become complacent. However, with fear, if all of you feel is fear then you never venture out into the world,and if you never venture you can't grow. The way you learn from fear is fighting to get out of it, after all that is how you begin to realize how strong you can actually be. On the same token, the way to overcome happiness is to not use it as a cover up for sadness and anger, you have to allow yourself to feel those two emotions.
With sadness and anger, they are similar because growth happens while you are in the midst of feeling those emotions. With sadness we learn as we are crying and feeling that pain in our heart. With anger, we are realize what we are willing to take while expressing ourselves through our voice, through our words, through our actions of dealing with that anger.
I think sometimes, the answer that seems the most practical isn't always the most obvious. We always want to cover the "bad" emotions with happiness. However, by not allowing ourselves to show that anger, sadness, or fear we are doing emotional damage to ourselves.
To go back to the four food groups: If we ignore fruit, we rob ourselves of the sugar our bodies need. If we ignore vegetables, we rob ourselves of the iron that our body needs. If we ignore meat, we rob ourselves of the protein that our body needs. If we ignore dairy, we rob ourselves of the calcium that our body needs.
When it comes to emotions we cannot deny ourselves a single one. They are vital to our emotional health. However, if those four emotions equal the four food groups then love is the chart that holds them all together.
I guess that must mean a Pt. II :)
Though some emotions may cross lines with one of the four emotions above (I.E. Greed: fear and happiness or jealousy: fear and anger), no single emotion is able to cross all four categories such as love. Love is all of those things, sometimes at once. (But we'll save that for another blog)
Imagine this: happiness, sadness, fear and anger are the four food groups. You need every single one of those in your life in order to challenge, develop, or even relax yourself.
Just like the food groups, you cannot be truly healthy by seperating them. For example, how can you truly know how thrilling that soccor game win is if you have never lost those four in a row? How can you know how beautiful life can really be, until you have touched the edge of death? How thrilling can that lottery win be, if you have never had a single day of struggle?
Just like the four food groups, if you have too much of one food, then you are not giving your body the nutrients it needs in order to sustain a healthy daily life. Have you ever notice how annoyed we get when we are around a person who feels only one of those emotions all the time? It grates our nerves. Think about people you know who are alwasys sad, always angry, always scared, or always happy even (sometimes they seem to be the most frustrating.)
However, on the opposite side of the token if we don't have enough of one emotion it can be detremental to our well being. Think about those people who hold in that anger (I tend to be this person) and they never let it out until something very small and tiny has happened and then it is turns into World War III? Holding that anger inside of you and not letting it out in small ammounts creates this well of anger that we usually let out in one inappropriate gesture.
What about holding in sadness? If we hang on to sadness we tend to cover it up with happiness. But then that moment comes when the straw breaks the camels back (and usually it is something tiny) and we just let it all out in one fell swoop, and it takes us by storm, and we delve into a depression.
I think it's funny that of these four emotions sadness and anger are similar, and happiness and fear tend to be similar.
Why is that? Well, happiness and fear are emotions where if we live in them there is no way to grow. We don't become more complex or more intelligent people when we are feeling happy, if we are not careful we can become complacent. However, with fear, if all of you feel is fear then you never venture out into the world,and if you never venture you can't grow. The way you learn from fear is fighting to get out of it, after all that is how you begin to realize how strong you can actually be. On the same token, the way to overcome happiness is to not use it as a cover up for sadness and anger, you have to allow yourself to feel those two emotions.
With sadness and anger, they are similar because growth happens while you are in the midst of feeling those emotions. With sadness we learn as we are crying and feeling that pain in our heart. With anger, we are realize what we are willing to take while expressing ourselves through our voice, through our words, through our actions of dealing with that anger.
I think sometimes, the answer that seems the most practical isn't always the most obvious. We always want to cover the "bad" emotions with happiness. However, by not allowing ourselves to show that anger, sadness, or fear we are doing emotional damage to ourselves.
To go back to the four food groups: If we ignore fruit, we rob ourselves of the sugar our bodies need. If we ignore vegetables, we rob ourselves of the iron that our body needs. If we ignore meat, we rob ourselves of the protein that our body needs. If we ignore dairy, we rob ourselves of the calcium that our body needs.
When it comes to emotions we cannot deny ourselves a single one. They are vital to our emotional health. However, if those four emotions equal the four food groups then love is the chart that holds them all together.
I guess that must mean a Pt. II :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
