Ready for Change

I have been a very bad person (not like that), with regard to keeping up with my blog. In fact, looking at the date of my last entry, I have been a despicable person at keeping up with my blog. So many ideas have entered my head within the last six months that I have been dying to write about, but a horrible excuse like laziness set in (or it was a good reason like time restraints). Either way, the fact of the matter is that I have been craving to write many more entries, and yet I have not been doing it. WELL, NOT ANYMORE!

I woke up this morning at 5a.m. and I just knew I had to write something. Do you know how you wake up and you can't remember what you were dreaming about, but you are left with the remnants of an emotion and you don't know where it came from? Well, that was this morning. For some reason I woke up with this tightening feeling in the pit of my gut that felt like an indication of change coming. I had this odd feeling like everything I know is about to get up-ended, in a good way. Hey, change is frightening no matter what, and I kind of teared up thinking about the thought of change from my normal routine.

I turned 30 about a two weeks ago, and even though 30 is still a young age, at the same time there is something mile-stoneish (yeah I made up a word) about the number. The other day I said, "You know in my 30 years..." and you know what? It felt good. I felt wiser, I felt like I had an authority of some kind. I don't know why, but I felt, "I am no longer in my 20's, I can now say that I have lived a bit."

I think I am ready for change (where I wasn't before) becuase I know myself more now then I ever have in the past. I know who I am, and I have to admit I like myself. I have learned that if you are proud of who you are on the inside, and you love that person a lot, then it doesn't matter what job you have, or what mistakes you have made, becuase in the end you are happy to be with yourself, and you better like yourself cause it is the one piece of company you can't get rid of.

I am ready for change because I know what qualities I possess, and I understand the ones I lack (or don't really excel at). I know how to use the qualities I possess in order to try and develop and enhance the qualities I don't have as strong a handle on yet.

I think when you start getting those mixture of excited and scared feelings, I think you are ready to tackle change. It means you are wanting it, but you are not going to rush into any decisions.

This may not be like the other blog entries with any kind of philosophical discussion. This is more personal. I look around at people all the time, and I am more observant then people think I am. I watch, and I pay attention. People are not happy with themselves. We don't take the time we need to develop ourselves, we are too busy trying to gain. We are spending so much time improving our outside or what we have so that people can perceive us how we want them to. We think those are the ways to improv how we feel about ourselves....how others perceive you is not how you perceive you.

I am happy to say that I am going to be doing more blog entries now (thank God I got an idea and wrote it down). I am also proud to say that my advancement in life is inevitable, becuase I am going to work hard for my personal change, and just hope that that will motivate people to change themselves. Crazy thought, but who is up for the challenge? :)

Thanks for waiting for me to write again guys.