ALL ABOUT ME

A while ago I wrote a poem to help people understand my way of thinking. Following my thoughts is not always an easy thing to do if I am not editing my thoughts. The poem tells you a lot about who I am as a person and the background I come from. I am not going to use this blog to post nothing but poems. However, I figured there would be nothing better as a first blog post then to tell a bit about me, and what you can expect from Thinking Sideways.

ALL ABOUT ME

So you want to know
All about me
Well, in brief
Here is a list of pointless facts about me:

I've got blue eyes
I've got ghetto lips
I've got a receding hairline.
I'm not small.
I'm not big.
In fact, I'm rather hot.

I've got a ten-and-a-half size shoe
I wear elevens because ingrown toenails run in my family
And I hear that bigger shoes prevent that.
I've had one ingrown toenail in my life.
I've had surgery on that toe so that it wouldn't grow back.
My brother watched as they performed the surgery,
He said it "was cool".
He's weird.

My cousin has had sixteen ingrown toenails.
His shoes fit perfectly.
I'll stick to the bigger shoes.

I have fifteen first cousins,
Fourteen boys and one girl.
She's a tomboy.
I have a brother.
I have a sister-in-law.
I like her, she's alright.
I tell her she made the wrong choice of brother,
And in her words she says, "I know, but you wouldn't do me much good."
I have a dad.
He's from Lubbock, Texas.
I have a mother.
She's from Cleveland, Ohio.
They've been married over thirty years.
They are old, but I love them.
My dad's family is Irish.
My mom's family is Canadian.
They all now live in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Don't ask, long story.

So that would make me part Irish and part Canadian.
Therefore, I was doomed to be a very, very, very pale person.
I also was doomed to be a very witty drunk.
I have my dad's Irish alcoholic love,
And my mother's Canadian alcoholic tolerance.
I begin floating at about two drinks.

My dad's family says words like, "ya'll" and "ain't"
My mother's family says words like "eh" and "aboot."
They make for very interesting conversations.

I have one Mexican uncle.
I have one ex-Mexican uncles.
And when I say Mexican I mean they are from Mexico...
And not Puerto Rico, Cuba, El Salvador, or Nicaragua
Or any other country south of Texas -
Except the country of Mexico.
I have on Asian uncle.
I had one black uncle ( may he rest in peace.)
I have one half-Mexican cousin.
One half-black cousin.
And three half-Asian cousins.
So needless to say at family reunions my family is like a package of Skittles.
Taste the rainbow.

In conclusion, I love my family.
And in a poem about me
They need mentioning.
They made me.
They are me.
They're everything to me.
But this isn't their poem
So let's get back to me.

I like writing.
Duh! Why would I be writing this?
I love words.
My favorite words are
Kumquat
And
Toilet.
I think they're funny.
I do not like the words
Duty
Or
Masticate.
I think they're dirty.

I love rhyming words
This poem, however, doesn't rhyme.
Don't ask!
I don't know why it doesn't!
If I could explain me I would.
I can't so I won't.
I'm inexplainable
Or unexplainable
I don't know which - I'll look it up later!

Or I'll probably just say I will
And won't.

I can procrastinate sometimes
"Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today?"
Because I can do it - tomorrow.

I love board games.
I love Scatagories, Taboo, Monopoly
But my favorite,
My tip-top, number one
Favorite game of all time is:
SCRABBLE!
That's right - Scrabble!
And I'm still in my 20's.

I'm competitive!
I want to win!
I won't spell the word "seize"
When I can wait for the word "seizure."
I spelled that word once
On a triple word score;
While using the "s" to spell another word across.
That's right1
I'm good!
I'm damn good!

I'm a gracious loser!
I'm a sore winner!

I adore crossword puzzles!
I also like prunes!

I really don't know why those two words remind me of each other.
I got problems.
You know what!?!
Sometimes I eat prunes WHILE i do crossword puzzles.
I think prunes taste good!
As do brussel sprouts
And rice cakes
And tofu
And sunflower seeds.

Sometimes I can be lazy
I eat the sunflower shell because I don't want to have to separate
The shell from the seed.
I don't eat crabs, lobster, or crawfish:
It's just too much work for the meat I get.
It's a waste of my time.

Kind of like T.V.
Good TV doesn't exist anymore.
And if it does they take it off the air.
My favorite show is ALL IN THE FAMILY.
No, I wasn't alive when it was on.
I love ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, 30 ROCK, THE OFFICE
And LOST!
I LOVE LOST!
Although I admit I've been lost sometimes while watching it.

I love good writing.
I love bad writing.
So then I guess I just love writing.
My favorite books are "Catcher in the Rye"
"The Giving Tree" and
"Oh, the Places You'll Go!"
I love Dr. Seuss!

My favorite movies are
Forest Gump
Almost Famous
Adventures in Babysitting
Clue and
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
(The old one - the new one just creeped me out)

And then there is music.
Music is everything to me.
It is what I listen to no matter my mood.
Stevie Wonder is my favorite.
Billy Joel is my favorite.
I also like Elton John, Sheryl Crow,
Alanis Morisette, Tina Turner, Santana,
Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye, Cyndi Lauper
Madonna, Meatloaf
And the Spice Girls.
It's true!
I really, really, really wanna Zig-a-zia-ah!

I love Harry Potter.
But then again, so does everyone else.

I love the theater.
I love plays!
I love musicals!
I love Shakespeare!
You get the point1

I'm intelligent!
I know how to express myself!
I have soap boxes!
Some are really, really, really, really, really high!
I'll try not to step on any of those in this poem.

I think in very odd ways.
My dad says that I THINK SIDEWAYS.
He says some people think towards the future.
Some people dwell on the past.
And then there is me,
I see an object and morph it into a million different things.
Therefore, I think sideways.

I love the teaching part of my job!
I put smiles on a face that didn't want to!
I put hope in kids that felt they had none!
I put fun in learning about writing!
I make kids come out of shells made of steel!

I learn from them more then they learn from me!
I go home tired,
But I go home happy:
Extremely happy!
As I read through this poem I realize
That there is no way to sum me up completely:
But I can do my best summation of me by saying this:

I am intelligent!
I am fun!
I am funny!
I am loveable!
I am adorable!
I am crazy!
I am random!
I am unique!
I am me!
And I like me!